Description

Start seeing things you never saw before—in yourself and in others.

Why do people think, feel, and behave the way they do? Why do even intelligent people sabotage themselves, repeat the same mistakes, and cling to comforting illusions? And how can you know when you are deceiving yourself?

Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love. —Dostoevsky

Self-deception is universal. It shapes our relationships, ambitions, fears, beliefs, and sense of self. It can protect us from painful truths, but it can also blind us to reality, limit our growth, and distort our understanding of ourselves and others.

The psychology of self-deception offers a powerful lens on human nature. It helps explain why we fall in love with the wrong people, cling to false beliefs, repeat destructive patterns, scapegoat others, and struggle to see ourselves clearly. In doing so, it illuminates deeper questions about identity, happiness, meaning, and the good life.

In this book, you’ll discover:

Why self-deception is part and parcel of the human condition.
The hidden costs—and surprising benefits—of self-deception.
The difference between denial, repression, and suppression.
The psychology of infatuation and ‘love at first sight’.
Why some forms of self-deception are healthier and more mature than others.
Where the boundaries lie between self-deception, personality disorder, and mental disorder.
How to recognize self-deception in yourself and in others.
How to work with your own psychology rather than against it.
And much more.

About the author

Dr Neel Burton FRSA is a psychiatrist and philosopher. He is a Fellow of Green-Templeton College in the University of Oxford, and the recipient of several book prizes. His work features regularly in the likes of Aeon and Psychology Today, and has been translated into several languages. He has been writing on self-deception and thinking skills for nearly two decades.

Editorial reviews

Burton provides an excellent explanation of how we use psychological defence mechanisms to protect ourselves from painful truths. —The Psychiatrist

A nuanced examination… Burton’s exploration of self-deception is intellectually appealing, both for readers steeped in psychoanalytic thought and the layperson. An abundance of everyday examples clearly illustrates a range of behaviours, from denial and repression to scapegoating and magical thinking… —The US Review of Books (Recommended)

Burton guides the reader to unlearn, rediscover, and return to wholeness. It is a journey out of Plato’s cave… —The International Review of Books

A University of Oxford psychiatrist examines the psychological underpinnings of self-deception—and how taking action to counter these defence mechanisms can help you see your life, emotions, and abilities in an entirely new light. —BookBub

A compelling exploration of the stories we tell ourselves—and the truths we struggle to face.